HeartShaped
by MariLyn's Mello
Summary: The clock, it ticked away the seconds. Threw them out the window carelessly. My seconds had ran out, I needed to do this. Now. Please Read Review, may be left to die in gutter if support is't given. XXX Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey my pretties.**

**I've been gone in the world of Death Note for some time but now I'm back for a long long visit and with that comes this and other stories and also to finish the ones I haven't finished. First up just to let you know I have redone this story, as there was terrible spelling and line spacing. And I've sorta changed the end, for those of you who didn't read it thank God because it shuns me as an author. :)**

**Was callled Bleeding Love, now called Heart Shaped.**

**The outline hasn't changed but the end of the story has, it's much longer than it was.**

**Enjoy!**

**MariLyn's Mello. XXX**

**I don't own Noel or Julian of The Boosh, I only own Manny thus he is based on me.**

"Vince? Vince! Wake up!"

My eyes opened to see Howard, Naboo and Bollo looking over me, I squinted as the light blinded me.

"W-why'd you wake me?" I managed to say, my words coming out in a croak.

"You were crying in your sleep. Sobbing and moaning" Howard said, rubbing my shoulder and fully waking me up. I was crying? I rubbed my eyes and felt wetness. I was crying, what's worse is it was in front of Howard.

"Where you having that nightmare again?" He asked, sitting beside me like a parent would. Even though I didn't want to I nodded, wiping tear trails from my face with the back of my hand. "Bollo can you me him a cuppa? Five sugars and half a cup of milk" Naboo and Bollo wandered off to the kitchen, knowing it was their time leave. That made me smile, knowing Howard knew exactly how to make my tea. My tea was always so sweet it make my mouth sting. I felt sleep tears running down my face, Howard grabbed some tissues and wiped them off my cheeks as if I was made of porcelian.

Why did he do that? He has been doing this kind of thing alot lately.

Does it mean that... he likes me?

As in _like like?_

As in... just maybe love?

My stomach tightened and turn in knots.

He never touches people let alone lets anyone touch him. So why now was he letting his fingers trace tear tracks on my face?

We've been friends for ages, **that** _will not_ change.

I tried to forget everything I'd just gone over in my head, hoping that I could avoid them forever along with my nightmares. Howard didn't go he just stayed by my side faithfully, although I truthfully wished he had, his hands had found their way into my hair and now they twisted strands aimlessly.

Why wasn't I resisting? I _needed_ to resist.

There was no point burying it, I couldn't hide from it any longer.

I had to go through everything.

Think about it all, make actual sense of it.

It scared me, scared me so bad, I could feel my stomach squeeze itself and my heart beat quicken as the horrible feeling took me over. Deserting me in a dark room with a flashlight with low battery.

Nothing could kill me except my mind.

That's how scary this thing was.

I grabbed Howards upper arm to steady myself, I could feel him tense up but then relax. The world started to spin gradually around me but then speed up, I didn't know I was going to get this bad. I tried to steady my breath before he could account it but it was too late.

"Vince-" Howard asked turning to me. "I'm fine" I gasped, I swallowed a mouth full of air and my lungs began to burst. Howard grabbed my face as I tried to regain breath.

So fast.

So sudden.

A pair of lips on mine.

I could see the mistake I'd made, my whole world was crashing in front of my very own eyes. I wished I could pull away but I remained put.

He kissed my lips gently over and over, like butterflies wings.

I don't want to be in love with him.

_You want to be in love, your just not allowed to be, _my mind corrected almost instantly.

It's a rule I've been trying to ignore for years. A rule I've been so longing to break.

Before I could register, I was kissing back and letting the pace of our lips quicken and I begged myself to stop but I secretly didn't because it'd been held back for so long.

These feelings I wasn't allowed to feel.

His fingers running threw my crazy bed hair, I held his cheeks and felt the tear tracks on my face sting from the cold.

I now felt so freezing.

Howards hands were under my shirt on my waist, they felt like a snowmans gloves. I could almost feel my lips turn ghostly blue.

This is it.

I thought I was strong enough, but I guess I didn't think as far as this.

He pulled his lips from mine, his pupils diluted and lost between his brown.

"Vince-"

"I need to tell you something" I butted in.

I had needed to say that, for years now, I'd been needing to tell him something, but am I so low I would tell him just before it happened?

Yes.

Just as I was about to let everything off my chest, Naboo and Bollo came in carrying cups of tea; leaving my painful words to rest once more in their deep graves. And the night passed.

I laughed.

I smiled.

I would've cried.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.

I'm going to enjoy this, and there's nothing no-one can do about it.

Bollo spilt tea all over Naboo's trainers sending him crazy, they walked out for the final time, Naboo charging Bollo for dry clean and his carpet that had been injured in the event.

Goob-bye guys, I'll miss you.

I didn't even say it aloud yet my heart ached, screamed, desperately searched for the rewind button so it could untie this event in mere seconds.

I lay down alone in my room and stared out the window, trying to spot the stars between the aeroplanes and London lights.

So beautiful, why hadn't I noticed it before now?

The one question that was going to change my life for the horribly brutal was did he love me and I knew I did.

And now all I can do is wait, an agonizing wait. I sat on the windowsill and waited, counting the stars and taking in the view I'd never see again with tears in my eyes.

I lay awake; impatient. Nose rubbed red from tissues, I roll over every thirty seconds and sigh in frustration.

_Nothing could kill me except my mind._

Now I knew how right I'd been.

_"It's an easy transaction, and you really have no choice. So do you accept?"_

The sound of footsteps woke me from the nightmare. I stared at the clock, three in the morning.

It's either Howard or nightmares.

I need to tell him and now _is _that time. I quickly untangled myself from the silver duvet and crept carelessly into the lounge. I was still wearing my black skinnies and white fitted shirt, I took a second to see how the living room was randomly covered in shards of light from the windows making it appear as a room of mirrors.

Half iluminated, half plunged into darkness.

So beautiful, so late.

There was Howard on the couch, his head between his knees in his worn beige dressing gown. He sat on the silhouette side of the couch. I walked up carefully and sat next to him gently. He jumped slightly before he said anything. I smiled and laughed softly as I saw his horrified expression.

"Vince? What are you doing up?"

I sighed. "I can't sleep"

"Neither..."

The clock, it ticked away the seconds. Threw them out the window carelessly. My seconds had ran out, I needed to do this. **Now.**

"Howard-"

"-Vince"

We stopped, seemed we had the same idea.

It happened once more before he let me speak first.

"Um..." My heart beat so hard it broke my ribs. "Howard, I want to know about what happened before..." I wished I could run but the shackles of fate chained me to the floor "Did you, -_we- _do what, we did...out of..." One more word and it's done.

"...love?"

His expression hadn't changed through out all of it.

He tried to say something, but it just came out in a series of 'dams' 'buggers' and 'oh dears'. Then slowly, and ever so painfully.

"Vince... I... I do love...you..." I knew he would say it, but it blew me away.

No...

How? How could he love me?

"How long?" I demanded painfully.

Howard replied.

"Forever"

I put my hands over my face, wishing the earth would swallow me up at spit out the bones. It would be a nicer fate to what is assigned.

"So... do you...love me?" I felt hot tears drip down my face silently. The way he said _love _made it sound like he _couldn't_ and _wouldn't_ live without me. I felt the world spinning around me again. I tried to steady myself but that only made me want to be sick.

It was happening again but this time it wasn't going to go away with a kiss. I tried to tell Howard what was going on, but the words came out a choked gasp.

"Vince? What's going on?" He asked in fast worry. I tried to shake my head, but I fell limply onto the coffee table.

Howard was trying to help me, helpless to what was going on.

Not now! Not with Howard here, please God no!

I tried walking through what I thought was the door, but Howard picked me up me into his arms and began walking. I winced with each step that made my head scream in pain. He called helplessly for Naboo.

"Don't worry Vince I'll get-" I couldn't hear the rest, my hearing automatically stopped.

Last words.

I felt myself slipping away from my body, I tried to grasp onto what I had left, but the power was too strong. And so with that last thought, everything faded to black in a circular pattern with the white blacking out like a TV screen.

**Reviews?**

**Thanks for Reading.**

**XXX**


	2. Chapter 2

"Wake up! Vince wake up!" I screamed, not thinking I could deafen him; just wanting him to wake to see a blushed face and a tired smile. Vinces body had started to turn a deathly white, cold as ice, lips a sickening grey.

I felt tears corner around my eyes. Please, I begged in my mind, please wake up. What happened, I don't know if I did something. Was it poisoning, simply a heart attack? No! He's not dead! I shoved my hand up his shirt and looked for a heart beat but could only feel mine pulsating so hard I could hear it through my fingertips.

This isn't happening.

This can't be happening.

These things never happen to us, not death, not death.

Naboo ran out of his bedroom as I stumbled into the wall and sunk to my knees, Vince still gathered in my arms.

"What's happened?" He asked rushed, looking confused for as why Vince was unconscious in my arms.

"I don't know, one minute he was fine and the next he just..." I couldn't finish.

Bollo picked my best friend from my arms and placed him on the kitchen counter amongst the empty packets and fruit bowels. More tears welled in my eyes; thoughts that I dare not think of began creeping up on me.

What if he _does_ die?

Shut up! I screamed in my mind; my hands gripping my head and ripping at my brown curls. Naboo looked for Vince's pulse, desperately searching for something that could be classed as a heartbeat in his neck, wrist and chest. He took a loud breath and staggered away from Vince. He grabbed his robes tightly between his fingers. Naboos eyes were wide, he started to shiver and I knew it was from no gale.

"...He's dead" He said, startled but equally mortified. My world stopped, a heart beat, then everything was silent.

Dead?

The word meant so much now than it did only hours ago. Vince and I would joke about death, thinking who would die first; question answered.

i didn't notice the pain that should've been there when I collapsed. Hands tried to pull me up but i remained the body of stone I was. There was no reason to move anymore.

No reason to do anything.

Vince, was now a body.

Vince, is, _was_ my life.

Changing is to was, loves to loved, is to used to be.

I sobbed and tears blurred my vision as I thought of Vince, dear sweet baby darling Vince. I slammed my fists on the floor and couldn't even begin to hear if I was screaming his name or not. My heart, it hurt so much, like it was on fire.

Naboo was shaking me, but it felt so numb.

"Howard, Howard!" He screamed but to me it was a whisper.

"Stop it and look at me!" He said angrily through gritted teeth. I lifted my head up.

"We have to talk about this"

Without knowing I grabbed him tightly, staring up at him from my knees.

"You need to save him!" I screamed like the mad man I had become in mere seconds. "Please..." I begged as tears stained my cheeks like droplet tracks on the window.

He guided me to the couch, trying to sit me on the light side but I crawled into the dark corner. Naboo began to pace slowly.

"Howard, from the last week to now you must tell me everything you and Vince did. Missing out anything could be critical. There are certain things, small details that could tell us why this happened" So I told him everything, an with it came more tears.

Reflecting on moments we once had.

"Are you sure that _nothing_ else happened?" I nodded, then remembered how this all started.

My heart ached at the thought, _screamed_.

I didn't want to tell them, but I had to.

"I kissed him" Naboo and Bollo stopped, like the chokes had taken their souls.

"I kissed him and told him I loved him. I had to tell him..." The blood drained from Naboo's face, he looked so in the moonlight.

How dead he seemed.

"How could this happen! No!" He screamed, smashing his fists on the table then let his head fall to the table. Bollo went to his masters aid.

"What's wrong? That couldn't have done anything! You're lying!" They both stared at me.

"He doesn't know...does he? Vince didn't..." Naboo said. Bollo replied with a shake of his head.

"What don't I know? What is it? What's going on?" I screamed at both of them.

"We need to tell you something".


	3. Chapter 3

**After six million years, back once more.**

**Here it is, if anyone is actually interested. Don't mind really, jst a personal achievement to rewrite and post this story. bt thank you for those who read it.**

**XXX**

Worn souls hit the floorboards with soft taps back and forth over and over. Naboo pacing furiously around the living room. Vince's body still lay out like it was meant to be there.

"Vince isn't... wasn't who he should've been."

I wanted to protest. Vince is -was- what he was! He would **never **lie to me! We're best friends, he couldn't lie.

The words that stuck to my throat simply sent tears rolling down my face, each a year of our friendship.

I was losing them all.

"Something happened five years ago" Naboo held his head in one hand as he held the window frame with the other as if he'd lost all strength "Nobody knows for sure. But, Vince hasn't existed for the last five years"

I stared at Naboo, hoping he was playing a sick joke; a sick sick joke, but he wasn't.

The room went stone cold, Vince's warmness had faded, hadn't been here, for five, long, years.

I hadn't noticed, how could I have not noticed?

"I've tried over the years with Vince to tell me, but each time I get nothing. I would've told you but I Swore on my life-" Naboo stopped as someone knocked on the door, each rap htting my nerves with a hammer.

Naboo gasped in a uneven breath, he froze like a deer in the headlights and movedhis eyes to the window. Bollo stubled to the windows and shut them in haste. Naboo faced me, I'd never seen his so scared.

"Naboo-"

"Shut up"

Bollo pushed me roughly into the kitchen pantry and pushed Vince into my open arms.

"You let no-one touch Vince, or Bollo break you're neck like brandy snap" Bollo threatened, making a snapping action with his hands and slamming the pantry door; packets of food falling from the shelves and landing on us like coloured snow. I peered through a small hole, Naboo stumbled around the flat in panic but then remained still. Bollo stood next to the door, I waited to see who would emerge from the doorway.

But the weight in my arms pulled he back to my body.

And then I looked down.

I felt my heart ache when I realized _who_ Bollo had threw in my arms. I let tears drop onto his hair, I tightened my grip around him and hugged him; trying to get him warm again.

_Hasn't existed._

Shut up!

_For the last five years._

No! No No No No NO!

I heard Naboo scuttling about, but I didn't want to see anyone but Vicne right now. I wish, every birthday candle I blew out, on every shooting star, on every curled crisp, that Vince would come back to me.

Please.

I need him more than they do, maybe I can explain.

No, if they caused Vince to di... be how he is, now, then they won't give him back.

"Vince" I choked close to his ears, scared of touching his skin. "Please come back, I love you" I wanted to hear his voice one more time, hear him say 'I love you too 'oward' in his south London cockney accent that I wished I'd told him was really cute. I kissed his head, and swallowed the sobs.

Vince didn't like crying.

"Hello Naboo"

I choked for a moment, I peeked out the hole. the voice alone made me shiver, so cold it stung.

A man in a faded black leather coat had entered the room, hair swaying in segmants in the invisible breeze.

"Hello Manny" Naboo replied bluntly. Manny nodded at Bollo, Bollo nodding back. Manny kicked a jerked up floorboard with his mud stained boots.

The mud was dark in the dim light, looked so much like blood. His cold sea blue eyes scanned our home.

"Nice place" Manny said, picking up one of Vince's artworks he was drawing earlier today and holding it as if it was made of gold between his gloved fingers. He smiled. I squirmed as I tried to remember Vince today, the thought of him still alive makes me want to die; Vince was…dead. I let more tears slip, trying not to get them on his hair. He wouldn't want his hair to be wet with tears.

"Where's Vince?"

The room remained silent.

"Vince is gone, he left ages ago" Naboo lied, keeping his eyes fixed with Mannys.

"Oh come on Naboo!" Manny shouted, scrunching the picture and shoving it in his pocket carelessly.

I winced as if he'd crunched my fingers

"Cut the bullshit! You and I both know that Vince is now dead! Do you think I'm some kind of idiot?"

"It would be best if I didn't answer that"

Manny hissed like a goose, stepping forward threatingly.

How did he know? The light played on Vinces shirt and I backed deeper into the shelves; praying our hiding spot would keep us hidden from this monster. I'd only known this man for minutes, but he was responsible.

He was the one I'd have to approach about keeping Vince.

He'd kill me. But then again is that so bad?

Naboo stared at him, Bollo stood at his side; waiting for the command to make the end of Manny.

"We had a deal, me and Vince; and you know perfectly well what that was. I assume he told you did he not"

"I found out a year ago"

"Well well well" He chuckled horribly. "Looks like he wasn't the dumb shit he always appeared"

I imagined, breaking manny's skull, killing him; for saying that.

He clicked his fingers, a tattered piece of lined paper appearing in his hand.

Manny read from the paper.

"I, Vince Noir, put Manon Bartholomew Smith to be the guardian of my heart while my soul stays on earth after my sudden death on the 2nd of July, 2002. I am unable to love while on my earth with only my soul. If I love someone and they return these feelings and express them towards myself, my body and soul will die and I'll be immediately be returned to Manon; where he will be my guardian for the rest of eternity" I was silently sobbing as Manny made the paper disappear, he was holding out his hand as if to take money.

"Now, I want Vince. You may be loyal, but why lose your life for a stupid little bitch like-" Naboo looked as if he was about to cry, Bollo had his head down. Before I knew what I was doing, I screamed out, a jumble of words all having my feelings of hatred stored in them.

Everyone's eyes were on the cupboard when I realized what I'd done.

I'm so sorry.

I froze as Manny began walking towards us with the smile of a weasel showing his pearl white teeth; I had only seconds to think what to do before he opened the door to take Vince.

And kill me.

He' a Shaman, I haven't got a chance.

Do it, do it for Vince.

I looked for something, anything to land a hit to his head and grabbed a frying panin my spare hand. As the hinges creaked slowly and Mannys smile grew, with Vince still cradled in my arms; I attacked. As Manny opened the door in full view of Naboos horror stricken face, I swung the frying pan with all my might. It collided with his face, instantly sending a spray of red across the door and on Vince.

"RUN!" Naboo screamed, as we were halfway out the door; running for our lives.


	4. Chapter 4

We ran through the door, Manny still in the flat clutching his battered face. I couldn't even start to think of how we could get out of this one.

Eventually, someone or something will go wrong, and when it does; he'll want Vince.

And he'll kill anyone and anything to do it.

We can't run from this man.

He's lethal.

Bollo could see that I was struggling, he tried to take Vince from me; but I grasped onto him tight and kept running down the stairs by twos with risk. The world was gone when we were running. We entered the Nabootique and almost straiht away Bollo and Naboo pushing all their weight on the door to stop a cursing Manny from entering. Naboo left the door ran about and shut windows, knowing full well that a shaman couldn't be stopped by a sheet of glass.

"Howard! You and Vince have to go, now!" He screamed, Bollo groaning as he pushed the counter in front of the door. Where could we go? There wasn't any point, Manny would follow us to the end of the earth if he had to.

No, for Vince.

I had to try.

We had to try.

"Where do I go, he'll follow us where ever we go" I said desperately as I imagined manny clawing at the door. Then the banging stopped, and we all knew he was going to find another way. Naboo spoke several words in tongue and a folded up piece of paper was in his hands along with the keys to the van.

"Get the van and drive east, take any road but _keep driving east_. At five o'clock in the morning open the note. Not before, not after. We can hold Manny off for as long as we can, be he _will_ come lookign for you" I nodded, shoving the paper in my pocket. We both silent as we realized that this could be the end.

He, they, risked their lives for Vince.

"Well, this might be it" Naboo said. I nodded again. I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't get me in tears, so I held my hand out. He shook it hard.

"Bye Howard, when you get back and we're not here, you know what's happened..."

"Go" He muttered, trying to hide his tears.

"GO!" He shouted ans screamed as a wall burst to splinters and a hand reached through to grasp Bollos fur.

I ran out the door and down the back valley.

I could hear screams.

Hands shaking so hard I couldn't put the key into the lock.

Windows breaking.

I carefully but quickly put Vince in the front seat.

Spells muttered so fast it was unidentified sound.

I drove away.

It was the fastest I'd ever driven in my life, street signs were a blur, but I knew Camden off by heart. Horns and curses accompanied my rushed driving.

They don't know.

They don't know what's coming after us.

Two hours.

Two hours of paranoid finger tapping on the steering wheel, thinking every car has Manny in the drivers seat. It was now written into my skin, burnt into my mind by fear.

Turn east.

After two hours we were in deep forest, trees sheltering us like protective arms yet not giving me the closest feeling to safe. I'd stopped the car and planned, we were low on fuel yet my wallet was left back there. I couldn't walk, maybe I could find a house and call Na- no, I can't do that.

Maybe the board of Shaman, but how would I contact them?

I slammed the steering wheel in frustration.

_Keep driving east._

That's all he'd said yet he's forgoteen some key facts.

I shivered as I realized how cold it had gotten and how long it had been since I'd registered.

I pulled a worn blanket from the back and placed it on Vince.

What the Hell are you doing? He's dead! I tried to tell myself that he wasn't coming back, but accepting it was too difficult. No-one followed us.

Maybe Manny is gone.

Maybe we _did_ stall him.

No, Manny would find us.

I didn't know what time it was, it could even be the next day for all I know, two hours was only a rough estimate. The sun had started to peak out from somewhere and I had no time to tell.

I don't care.

I pulled the note from my jacket pocket.

I need to know.

"I don't know if you can hear or see me, but I'm sorry Naboo!" I said , then I picked up the letter and began to read.

_Howard._

_As you already know I haven't been that truthful with you, and for that I'm so sorry. But I was only doing it to protect you from this._

_I'll tell you everything I can tell you, the rest you'll have to ask Naboo about or if he's not here, then find out yourself. _

_On the 27th of July, 2002, I was murdered by somebody whom used magic to change my fate, I died an unfair and horrible death. My killer was never found. But someone offered me the chance to live my life again in return for my heart and all feelings of love. This person was Manny. If this is going how it was said to, you should already know Manny and you should fear and hate him as much as I do._

_Manny is a horrible man and will do anything to get me, he will not hesitate to hurt you or anybody else. I traded my heart and love to live again to see you. I know it's a sin but I couldn't leave you. The only reason I denied your love because if I said I love you, Manny would have me and I'd have to leave forever. He is a greedy man and wants all my love for himself. I know it must be hard for you and I know you must be scared but I need you to help me. Find out who killed me, and the rest will fall in from there. I will hopefully remain alive until my natural death occurs _

_I love you Howard and I am crazy about you and I''m sorry I could never tell you._

_I love you and we may be apart for now, but I'm sure we will be together again._

_But do not put your life on the line, I will die for you if I must._

_Yours truthfully…_

_Vince…_

Tears stained the paper as I read it for the 3rd time. Everything was clear now; everything that Naboo didn't tell me I knew.

"Why did you do it?" I sobbed, shaking Vince like I was waking him from a nightmare. "Why did you give up you're heart for me?" I felt like screaming at Vince; keep shaking him until he told me why even though he had. I leaned over and hugged him, his cold face pressing against my neck. I lifted his face to level mine.

I leaved forward and let my top lip brush his-

And then I was sideways, the van was sideways. Winshield cracked. Metal scratched. Blood, _my_ blood.

And the whole van was pushed over to its side.

I froze.

Vince was gone…


End file.
